They need to start a Relationships Anonymous program

All of my female friends (with the exception of, like, 2) are hopelessly addicted to being in a relationship with a man.

No matter how one sided it is.
No matter how many times the guy obviously uses her for a booty-call.
No matter how obvious it is that the guy has a giant, gaping vajayjay.
No matter how many of her calls he ignores.
No matter how long she goes without actually SPEAKING to him, not just texing him.
No matter how married he is.
No matter how married SHE is (oh, but wait, she's filing for divorce....)

This is getting exasperating.

Seriously, one of my dearest friends can't list more than 2 things that she likes about this guy that she keeps breaking it off with. But no sooner than she tells me that she told him she doesn't want to talk to him anymore, she's telling me about how she talked to him a little bit ago--and he acted exactly the way that prompted her to break it off with him in the first place.

Hint, hint, my friend.

I just don't see what would draw you back to a guy who gets on your last frickin' nerve every time you talk to him--except that you are desperately afraid of being alone. Which is kinda stupid, because this friend of mine is the nicest girl, she's hot as hell, lots of fun to hang out with, smart as a whip (99% of the time lol) and she has TONS of men falling all over her--and she's afraid to explore her options!!! I try to keep convincing her to just go for it; one little date won't hurt. You can usually judge from the first date--and I am always available for rescuing a friend from a bad date.

But I digress...

Being single is one of the most liberating, wonderful, inspiring, confidence-building things ever. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am a self-proclaimed bachelorette. Always will be.

So, to all my friends who are hot-to-trot, totally awesome people who deserve the BEST from their relationships...

GET SOME HELP.

Being in half-assed relationships where you THINK you have the control for the rest of your life is going to end up making you incredibly depressed and probably self-loathing. Hell, you may even end up getting beat the fuck up by your dude. This is how things like that start. I don't want to watch you go through that. It's happened to a relationship addicted friend of mine before and it's not pretty.

Don't settle. You are awesome and you deserve a dude who believes that as much as I do.

...And apparently he is stalking me

Alright, so I was at the bar with my friend Stacy (name changed, of course) and I had just recently gotten my hair cut--really short. Alot of people who know me didn't even recognize me when they saw me.


So Bob 5 is sitting across the bar from us, which surprised me because I thought he got kicked out and asked not to come back, and he's looking at me like he's trying not to look at me; like me might know me or something, ya know?


Finally, I send him a text, just to wave and say hi. So he comes over and sits by us. Uninvited. He chats me up most of the night and I could tell he actually thought he was gonna get some from me that night. Poor thing.


Stacy and I leave. He proceeds to call me--every day, sometimes more than once a day, since our encounter (which, at this point, was about 3 weeks ago now). He still wants to see me, to get to know me, to go do something with the kids (he has an 11 year old child from a previous relationship--he probably abandoned that kid's mom, too) and he just really think's I'm a super gal.

So I'm beginning to suspect he is either stupider than the average guy, or he's got a vagina hidden somewhere.

Really.

Isn't repeated calling despite no answer (ever) and saying that someone's really great even though you don't know shit about the person kind of girlish behavior?

If I'm gonna date someone who acts like a woman, you'd better believe I'm gonna get one that's got a nice set of tits and a glorious ass. I don't put up with that kind of behavior without anything in return.