Oh come on now guys

You've got to have a better one up your sleeves than this, guys. Did anyone REALLY think they could fool me?? Ha! Go back to sleep and dream your delusional dreams, sweet silly men.

Let me lay this out for ya:

I know about 4 guys who insist on telling me they are going to call, telling me they are gonna come over, telling me we should hang out again sometime soon; yet in their quest to prove to themselves that they are just too cool to be pinned down by social obligations, they usually end up not calling/coming over at all (at least just not when they initially say they're going to).

Which only pisses me off mildly and for, like, 2 seconds cause if you're gonna blow me off and treat me like crap I'd at least like to be your girlfriend so that you have to buy me nice gifts to make up for blowing me off and treating me like crap.

These guys have such inflated egos that they actually think that I want something more with them than getting laid.

HA!!!

One of them used to be a really close friend of mine and we came THISCLOSE to sleeping together, but we never got around to it because he was busy pretending that he wasn't dating this one girl and whatever. As previously stated, I COULD GIVE A FUCK LESS.

Another one is someone I've known since high school, we happen to work next door to eachother, now he always tells me he wants to hang out but he never calls/comes over when he says he is going to. Whatevs. It's too early to tell where that one would have gone. No big loss on my end.

As I mentioned earlier, this kind of shit doesn't bother me that much--it's just that I could be getting laid by someone else rather than sitting here at home drinking a glass (or two or a bottle) by myself.

Don't be fooled. I DO end up getting laid if I so feel the desire. But I work so damn much so that after a bottle of wine I'm feeling more sleepy than horny.

And you wanna know the funniest part of this ridiculous male species behavior?

These guys actually think that THEY ARE PLAYING ME!!!!!!

OMG I think I just pissed my pants laughing.

Anyway, yeah, no one is fooling me. I realize that guys who like being single have this primal urge to prove to every woman they come in contact with that they are unattainable and un-pin-down-able, but really, do you think that I want to be pinned down with your petty ass anyway?

I really just wanted to suck you off, honey.

Guess YOU missed out.

Better luck next time.